relationship.
there was a time when i would've answered "pain, significance, sex, or disappointment." the last thing i would have thought of was relationship. yet, each of my possible answers have an underlying origin--relationship.
i went to a birthday dinner party, tonight, which represented a diverse array of relational issues. well, what party doesn't, right?
as wicked as i think this may be toward the person whose party it was, i was supremely relieved upon the conclusion of the soiree. i couldn't be more disappointed with myself at what i discovered as a result. i think that for the first time in my life, i actually hate somebody. it's a strange sensation. i've hated humans, as a general species, but i've never hated a particular one of them. it's intriguing. and exhausting! no wonder people have major on-going anger issues. they have hatred brewing inside of them, looking for any opportunity to escape.
it's different from what i'm akin to--rejection. hatred doesn't desire reconciliation or a change in relationship. it doesn't regret anything from the past. it wants severance... and perhaps some horrific tragedy would be delightful.
i'll be honest--i'm frightened by this ability. i think the experience of this is worse than the hate itself.
time to break the sour...
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